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BTP7: What NOT to Ask the Tarot


The Tarot is a powerful tool, but it isn’t a Magic 8 ball.

While the Tarot cards offer guidance through difficult and challenging times, there are just some questions NOT to ask the Tarot.

In this Biddy Tarot Podcast, I share 11 questions you'll want to avoid asking the Tarot in your next Tarot reading.

I'll discuss:

  • What questions to avoid asking the Tarot cards – and why
  • Why reading someone else's cards without permission is like spying on them in the shower
  • How strong emotions and negative energies can color your readings
  • Whether or not Tarot can give you answers about your health
  • How to formulate the best questions for your Tarot readings

So, let’s dive in…

[Tweet ” Do you know the top 10 questions NOT to ask the #Tarot? @biddytarot”]

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Podcast Transcript

Brigit: You’re listening to the Biddy Tarot Podcast, and this is Episode 7: What NOT to Ask the Tarot.


Welcome to the Biddy Tarot podcast, where you will learn how to connect more deeply with your intuition and live an empowered and enlightened life with the Tarot cards as your guide.

Listen as Brigit and her guests share their very best tips and strategies to help you read Tarot with confidence.

And now, here is your host Brigit Esselmont.


Brigit: Hello and welcome!

I am so glad that you’re here with me on the Biddy Tarot Podcast.

So, the Tarot can answer everything, right?

You just think of your problem, lay out the Tarot cards, and shazzam, you have your answer, yeah?


Well, while the Tarot cards are certainly there to guide you and to provide insight into your troubles and concerns, there are just some questions that you should NOT be asking the Tarot.

So today, I'm going to share with you 11 questions NOT to ask the Tarot.

So, are you ready?

Let's do it!

1. Will My Lover Leave His Wife? 

You know this really encapsulates any question that’s asking about another person’s life who’s not directly related to you or the client – the person that’s having the reading.

This is what we typically call a Third Party Reading, because the trouble is, when we start to get into Third Party Readings, we get some issues around privacy, and also some issues around accuracy and what’s really in your control.

So let’s talk about privacy for a little bit.

The trouble with a Third Party Reading is that it’s like reading someone else’s mail. They haven’t given permission to be included in this Tarot reading, and so if you start laying out Tarot cards and try to find out what’s going on in this person’s head when they haven’t said, “Yeah, I’m happy for you to do that,” it’s a violation of privacy. That’s also a violation, I believe, of ethics and being an ethical Tarot reader.

The other issue that comes up with Third Party Readings is that they can actually be quite inaccurate, because when you’re doing a Tarot reading for someone, you’re really tuning into their energy and what’s going on for them.

Now, they will see their relationship with other people in a certain way. It may not necessarily be the most objective way. So when you’re doing the reading you’re tapping into how they are seeing that relationship; not necessarily how this third party is seeing things.

So, for example, if you are coming back to that, “Will my lover leave his wife?” you might start to see the hope that he will, because that’s what the client might be experiencing, but you might not get a fully accurate picture of what he actually is thinking – if that makes sense.

And finally, the trouble that I really have with this is so what if you find out, you know, if he will or he won’t?

You have no control over that – or the client has no control over making changes, or encouraging the partner – the lover – to leave his wife.

I find that really disempowering. For me the Tarot is all about empowering people to achieve their goals.

So, I would much rather ask a question of the Tarot around, you know, like: What’s my most healthy relationship with this person – with my lover?

Or: How can I manage my feelings about him still being involved with his wife?

So you are actually trying to shift the focus back to the client or the person that’s having the reading.

Alright, so that’s: Will my lover leave his wife?

You can leave that question alone.

2. Will I Win the Lottery?

Whoa, I tell you what – we do see quite a few of these kinds of questions with our free readings on the Biddy Tarot Network.

And, of course, we’d love to know, “Will I win the lottery?” or, “What are the numbers that I should be playing in the lottery?”

The thing is that, the lottery is a game of chance and there is very little that you can do to influence you winning (except for, obviously, buying a lottery ticket!). So, it’s best just to leave this up to chance and, you know, those little balls can bounce around in the big glass bubble, rather than consulting the Tarot cards for this kind of question.

And, again, the true power of Tarot is helping you get in touch with yourself and your intuition, and not predicting numbers or if you’re going to win the lottery.

3. Does My Ex Hate Me?

Again, this is one of those questions that’s dealing with someone else that’s not involved in the Tarot reading.

So we have got a problem again around privacy; but it’s also dealing with something that’s making an assumption. We are posing this negative question to the Tarot about, “Does my ex- hate me?” whereas what if you were to ask the Tarot instead “How does my ex- feel about me?” – because, again, we are running into problems around privacy. But perhaps, “How am I in relationship in with my ex?” or “What do I need to know about my relationship with my ex?”

That way you’re getting a much more balanced perspective than just making the assumption that there’s this possibility that he hates you; because it’s not very constructive or helpful.

4. When Will I Die?

Okay, Number 4: When will I die? Or even: How long will I live?

So apart from this being quite morbid, it’s not really an appropriate question for the Tarot because the Tarot is intended as a guide, and there is really no ‘guiding’ with this kind of question.

It, to me, is not helpful. So, if you think about what if you did get the answer to, “When will you die?” – What would you do with that information?

Would that actually be helpful to you?

I’m guessing probably not.

I also have a bit of a problem with predicting time with the Tarot, because I believe that we can take actions that can change or shift the exact timing of events.

I know not everyone agrees with me on that, and that’s fine, but that’s how I see timing working.

5. What Is the Name of My Soul Mate?

Alright, so Question Number 5 of What Not to ask the Tarot is: What is the name of my soul mate? Or I’ve had other questions like: What’s the first letter of my future husband’s name?

And, look, I totally get it. We would love to know this kind of information. How fun would that be?

But, here’s the thing: Tarot can’t accurately predict the name of someone.

I am yet to see how you could do that with the Tarot cards. It’s not going to give you really accurate information when it comes to trying to come up with a name. It can help you understand what kind of person you’d be best suited to, so perhaps instead of asking what’s the name of my Soul Mate, you might ask the Tarot: What qualities would I be a best fit with?

Or: How will know that I’ve found my Soul Mate?

Because then you’re starting to get more rich and balanced information that will help you identify and attract your Soul Mate.

And I also believe that we each have opportunities to find many different Soul Mates. Of course, we will probably settle down with one, but there are probably many people in this world that you would connect with and click with.

So just being able to isolate it down to one person or one name doesn’t quite fit with the way that I see things working around Soul Mates.

6. Am I Pregnant?

I’m afraid we do get asked this question quite a bit as Tarot readers.

And the truth is that you are going to find out if you’re pregnant by doing a pregnancy test. That’s the best way to find out, okay?

Because the Tarot cards can probably give you a good likelihood or probability, that it’s likely that you might be pregnant if certain cards come up, but ultimately if you need to know if you are pregnant or you’re not, go and see either your Doctor, or go and get a pregnancy test.

The Tarot cards are really not a proxy for a visit to the doctor.  So they can highlight if there is a possible issue or a concern, but it’s really important that you go to your Doctor and get any kind of health concern properly checked out.  And, you know, leave all of those diagnosis, prognosis, or treatment advice, to the medical professionals.

7. Will My Wife's Cancer Go into Remission?

Number 7 is: Will my wife’s cancer go into remission?

I really feel for people who want to know about a loved one, and whether they’re going to be healthy, or whether they’re going to be okay. And I know often times, parents will ask the Tarot like, “Is my son going to be okay at school?”

Again, we’ve got the problem here around having a Third Party Reading – and, instead, what we want to try and do is bring our focus back to the client or the person that is asking the question, and think about: What actions can they take? What do they need to know about what’s going on for them?

The other piece that’s a real concern about this kind of question – Will my wife’s cancer go into remission? – is it’s a question about health.

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As Tarot readers typically we’re not trained medical professionals. If you are, fantastic; but even then, you would know that you would need to put on your medical professional hat in order to a diagnosis, and to make a call on whether a health issue will work or not work, or go away.

So, really, when it comes to health, it’s better not to consult the Tarot cards.

8. Should I Take the Job?

Number 8 is: Should I take the job? Or: Should I buy the house? Should I leave my wife?

Should I….should I… should I?

The trouble with “should I” is that it’s implying you’re not taking responsibility for your life, and you’re actually passing over the decision making to the Tarot cards.

Now, yes, the Tarot can help you make decisions, but it’s not the thing that’s going to make the decision for you. Ultimately you need to make that decision. And you need to weigh up, not just the information from a Tarot reading, but also the information that you have about the situation; or that you’ve had recommendations from others, and ultimately what you intuitively feel about the situation.

If you’re continually just turning to the Tarot to make decisions for you, then you’re starting to lose control of your life. And that’s not a great place to be.

So, instead of asking “should I” you can start to ask questions like: What’s the impact if I take this path?

Or: What are the pros and the cons if I take this path?

Or even, another question I love asking in this kind of situation is: What do I need to know in order to make the best decision here?

Because it’s about collecting information, so that you can then make that decision; not pushing all that accountability and responsibility onto the Tarot cards, onto an external thing to make the decision for you.

9. Whatever Comes Up.

Alright, Question Number 9 is: Well, whatever comes up. In fact, it’s kind of like the No Question Question.

And this often happens when someone will sit down with you, and their having a Tarot reading, and you’re like, “Okay, what’s your question?”

“Oh, just a general reading – whatever comes up?”

I know there are Tarot readers out who just say, “Yeah, brilliant. Let’s do it.”

And it’s fine, but, for me, I find that I really like to have a question or at least an area of focus.

Sometimes you can use the Tarot cards to guide you into a question, but I find that the Tarot is a lot more effective when, again, you do have a focal point. So, if someone was to sit down with you and just say, you know, when you ask, “What’s your question?” they’re saying, “Whatever comes up,” then first you could ask, “Is there a specific area of focus that you want to have for this Tarot reading?”

And maybe they say, “No.”

Then, you might say, “Okay, is there anything that is keeping you up at night? Is there anything that’s, you know, bothering you right now?”

And if they’re still saying no, then you might just start that reading with a few cards, and then seeing where do those cards lead you. Perhaps they start highlighting particular issues that are relevant for the client. And then you can start to focus your Tarot reading into those areas.

So, it’s kind of one of those questions that, well, if you’re having a reading with me I’d probably prefer that you didn’t ask, “Just a general reading,” but it can be dealt with – like it’s something that you can work with, in order to create a more constructive and helpful Tarot reading.

Alright, we’ve got two more to go.

10. When Will I Get Married?

The trouble with this kind of question is, it is a timing question; and it’s also a assuming that you will get married.

So, I’ve talked a little bit about the timing- and, again, I think that with timing you can take actions that will shift and change specific timing of events. That’s what I believe. Others, again, will believe something different, but that’s fine.

And listen – when you are hearing me share my opinions, listen to them and think: How does that sit with me? Does that resonate with me, or do I have a different view?

Go with what resonates with you, okay?

Don’t just go: Well Brigit said I have to think that way.

Because you don’t. It’s all about what feels right for you, but I hope that these good prompters to stop and think: Well, yeah, how do I feel about timing in Tarot?

Okay, so we touched on timing piece; but also the assumption that you will get married: When will I get married?

Perhaps you won’t. Perhaps getting married isn’t the right thing for you. You just don’t know that yet.

And so you might want to shift the focus of the reading to understand something like: What’s the healthiest version of relationship for me right now?

Or: What do I need to do in order to find a healthy relationship for me?

Remember, marriage isn’t sort of the be-all-and-end-all. It’s not the ultimate end state. There are many ways to create harmonious and enriching relationships with people; and it doesn’t have to be just about marriage.

And of course there are many unhappy marriages, so if you pushing yourself to get into a marriage and then you realise – Oh, boy, that wasn’t really what I wanted; it wasn’t for my best – then you’re in a tough spot.

11. Will I Win the Court Case?

Okay, so our final question is: Will I win the court case?

So, the trouble with things like legal questions is that it’s completely out of your hands, and it’s really in the hands of the judge or the court system that is dealing with your case.

You’re better placed by asking the Tarot what you can do to improve your chances of success, or what you need to know about the court case.

There are many readers that will just flat out refuse to read on legal issues, and I can respect that. I understand why you would want to do that.

I think there’s a place where we could help people in terms of preparing them for a successful court case. They can put their best case forward, but again, ultimately, that final decision is out of their hands.

So you want to help people with what’s within their locus of control, and how can you give them really good advice with the Tarot cards as a guide, but also acknowledge that there are some things that are completely out of your hands and that you can’t influence.

That’s important to note, particularly with legal cases.

Now the other piece is just to recognise that you are reading the Tarot. You are not providing professional legal advice. And even if you were a fully qualified lawyer, then you would need to be very clear that you are now putting your lawyer hat on, versus using your Tarot reader hat.

So that is very important. And that goes again with health advice, financial advice, and so on.

What Makes a ‘Good’ Question for the Tarot Cards

Alright, so there you have it. Those are 11 questions that I suggest you don’t ask the Tarot. I hope that you’ve also been able to get a sense of what could you ask the Tarot instead of these sorts of no-go Tarot questions.

But I want to help you a little bit more, and I’m going to just walk you through, over the next few minutes about what makes a good question for the Tarot cards.

You’ve probably started to see where things can move to when you’re asking questions; but I want to give you a couple of tips on how you can really ask the right questions, because asking the right types of questions can really make or break a good Tarot reading.

The best questions are those that elicit information to empower you to make the best decisions for yourself or the situation. It’s about collecting that information so that you can make the decision; not so that you let things happen to you, or you wait for something to happen. It’s about finding out what are your next steps; and how can you manifest what it is that you really want in the situation.

And that’s so much more empowering and constructive and positive.

Good questions are also very open-ended, and they provide space to explore different options and possibilities. But they are also quite detailed and specific, allowing for focus and direction.

So, what do I mean by open-ended?

Basically, avoid the questions that could be answered with a simple yes or a no. You know: “Will I?” – “Should I?” – “Did I?” – “Have I?” – and so on – or “Is?”

Those kinds of questions are typically quite close-ended because they could be answered with a yes or a no.

Instead, you might want to ask questions that start with: “What” – “How” – or “Why.”

Because those questions allow you to really go deep into a particular issue, or situation, and find the deeper insight into that situation.

And finally, good questions focus on yourself rather than others. That’s because the one person you can change is you. When you focus on what other people are doing, you can’t tell them what to do. You can’t force them to do things that you want them to do. It’s all about what you can change, and bringing the Tarot reading back to focus on you and how you’re in relationship to other people and other situations, that’s where you’re going to get the most impact – and the most positive change.

So, good questions always focus on yourself, rather than others.

Now, in another Biddy Tarot podcast I will be talking a lot more about how to phrase a question, and how to really get to the heart of a question; because, again, having the right questions is so, so important when it comes to reading the Tarot. But for now, steer clear of these 11 questions, and you’ll be good.

Wrap Up

Alright, if you loved this podcast episode, then make sure that you leave a 5-star review on iTunes, and subscribe to get the latest podcasts.

I am SO looking forward to being part of your journey with the Tarot and until next time I’m sending you lots of love and support.



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