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BTP26: Finding Your Tarot Tribe

We are all looking for our tribe. A place where we belong. Where we feel a soul connection with others. Where we are heard, supported and nurtured.

But often, finding your tribe can be difficult. Not everyone shares the same values or the same passions as we do. And when it comes to Tarot, it can be hard to find people in your existing circles who have the same love for Tarot as you do.

In this podcast, you'll learn:

  • Why finding your Tarot tribe is incredibly important to your evolution as a Tarot reader
  • How you can align with the people who will make you a better person
  • Where you can find a community of beautiful souls who love Tarot as much as you do

Let's dive in…

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Podcast Transcript

Brigit: You’re listening to the Biddy Tarot Podcast, and this is Episode 26: Finding Your Tarot Tribe.


Welcome to the Biddy Tarot podcast, where you will learn how to connect more deeply with your intuition and live an empowered and enlightened life with the Tarot cards as your guide.

Listen as Brigit and her guests share their very best tips and strategies to help you read Tarot with confidence.

And now, here is your host Brigit Esselmont.


Brigit: Hello and welcome back to the Biddy Tarot podcast!

We are all looking for our tribe – place where we belong; where we feel a soul connection with others. Where we are heard, supported and nurtured.

But often, finding your tribe can be difficult.

Not everyone shares the same values or the same passions as you do. And particularly when it comes to Tarot, it can be hard to find people in your existing circles who have the same love for Tarot as you do.

So connecting in with that Tarot tribe can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.

So today I’m going to be talking about how you can find your Tarot tribe; and also why it’s really important to find a Tarot tribe – a group that you can truly connect with.

It really starts with this quote that you probably are already familiar with, but I think it just really encaptures the essence of needing to find a tribe.  And it’s this:

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

And that’s a quote from Jim Rohn, who’s a motivational speaker and self-help guru.

So just think about that again:  You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

And so the essence of this is that whoever you spend time with, influences the person that you eventually become.  And who you spend your time with can also elevate you, as much as it can bring you down.

So just think for a moment:  Who do you spend the most time with right now?

If you were to limit it to five people, who are those people?

And now think about:  What do those people think about Tarot?

The five people that you spend the most time with, what are their thoughts around Tarot?

Are they open to it?

Are they interested in it?

Are they using Tarot?

Or, on the flipside, do they disapprove of Tarot?

Do they even know what Tarot is?

Do they even know that you read Tarot?

So think about:  What is their influence when it comes to you passion with Tarot?

And those five people that you spend the most time with, is there any connection that you feel between your friends and your passion for Tarot; or is there a disconnect there?

And if we just sort of zoom out a little bit further, what about their connection to a higher level of consciousness?

Because in my mind Tarot is a direct link to spirituality and intuition and Divination – connecting with the Divine.

And when I think about Tarot, and wanting to connect with other people around Tarot, it also means, for me, wanting to connect with people who value a higher level of consciousness; who understand spirituality; who are prepared to have deep and meaningful conversations that elevate your own consciousness and sense of spirit.

Or when you connect with these five people, is there no conversation around spirit; is it more superficial stuff like what’s going on in The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills?

Or are you able to talk about these more spiritual issues?

You see, the type of people that you interact with influences:

  1. The consciousness level that you operate in, and
  2. The subject matter that you engage in

And it really brings out a side of you that is reinforced by how they respond to things, and it can really perpetuate a particular situation.

So think about it, those five people that you spend the most time with, what is the topic of your conversations?

What is the dominant conversation topic?

And if you were to think of it in terms of a level of consciousness, are you just having a chat about sport, or are you chatting at a much deeper level as well?

And don’t get me wrong, there is always a time and place for what’s going on in the latest episode of The Bachelor, but if you have a deep interest in Tarot and spirituality, surely you’ll also want to engage in these deeper level conversations so that you can explore your own thoughts around Tarot and spirituality as well.

But if the five people that you spend the most time with are not interested in going into that place at all, that can prove very difficult.

And think about it:  If you’re spending time with people who think negatively of your passion for Tarot, it’s really going to dull your light.

If the folks that you spend time with think that Tarot is rubbish, or you are too afraid to even tell them that you enjoy reading Tarot, what does that say about that connection?

And what does it say about your connection to Tarot?

Do you think that’s going to help you connect more with Tarot, or is it going to pull you away from Tarot?

And what is it that you truly want?

Do you want to be moving towards Tarot, or away from Tarot?

And how are these five people influencing that?

And look, your friends may bring other qualities to the table – and that’s absolutely fine.  There may be very good reasons why these are the five people that you spend the most time with. And maybe Tarot is not something that comes into that, but have a think about it:  Then what does that mean for you and Tarot?

Is there a place where you can connect and converse about Tarot – and where you can feel authentic and in alignment with your passion for Tarot as well?

Now think about it on the other hand: Imagine if you were surrounded by a group of people who shared your love for Tarot, and who had a connection with spirit. Your conversations would be elevated. You could learn from one another. You could raise consciousness together. You could create this beautiful collective energy and collective wisdom together.

And imagine even just having someone that you could chat Tarot with – where that could take you in terms of how you engage with, and interact with, the Tarot.  Totally different place, isn’t it, if you had people in your tribe that were connected to Tarot in a similar way to you?

Now look, your friends don't need to be avid Tarot readers.

I think about my friendship circle, and I was starting to think, ‘Okay, who are my five people that I spend the most time with?’

And I guess I’m in the lucky position where they have an interest in Tarot, and a couple of my friends have been persuaded, by me, to buy their own decks.  And every now and then they are playing with the Tarot cards.

It doesn’t bother me whether they play with them or not; what is more important to me, with my friends, is that we can have good, open, heartfelt conversations around the deeper aspects to life.  And Tarot is one of those things, but there are many other things as well.  That we are not just talking about the latest fashion, or what’s on TV, or what foods our children are no longer eating and throwing across the room.

Sure, that gets into our conversation, but I’m also looking for something deeper to talk about with my friends.

And I can have these wonderful conversations – wonderful deep conversations with my friends – that take us to all sorts of places.  And that’s why I choose to spend more time with those friends that perhaps others, where the conversation may be a little bit lighter.

Again, nothing wrong with a light conversation, but I know where I want to spend most of my time.

So have a think about your friends and what your conversation topics are; and where does your thinking go when you’re spending time with those friends?

Because I think it certainly helps to be part of a group or a tribe where you feel that you can authentically express who you are; and that others are adding to the conversation around Tarot or spirituality.

And, again, you might do a little bit of compartmentalising – and I tend to do this too.

I will have my friends and we talk about broader topics of high-level consciousness and all that good stuff – The Work – The Universe; but I also have some friends who I might talk Tarot with, specifically, and making some conscious choices about making sure that I have friends who I can speak about with Tarot – just like I have friends who are entrepreneurial and have their own businesses on-line. I love those conversations too.

And I may not find all those qualities in just the one person, and I don’t expect to; but at least I have consciously chosen certain people to be in my circles.

So you might be thinking the same:  How can I integrate someone, or a few people, a tribe, who share my passion for Tarot and have that deeper level understanding of what surrounds Tarot?

So when you’re thinking about connecting with a tribe and a group of people, it’s really about:

  1. Your level of consciousness as an individual – like what’s happening to you as an individual when you’re engaging with these people?
  2. And also, what’s happening at the collective level – that collective consciousness of the people that you’re with?

And I don’t know about you, but for me, I want to be seeing like an elevation in that consciousness.  I want the energy to be lifted as a result of the people that I’m spending time with; and, as a result of the time I spend with myself.  Because I think this is what really influences who we become.

Whereas if you are surrounded constantly by people who are negative, or may complain all the time, or be very judgemental, or where you don’t feel comfortable talking about your connection with Tarot – I think that can really bring you down, and bring you to places you don’t necessarily want to be.

But again, on the flipside, if you’re around those successful, positive minded people, imagine where that can take you, and how much it lifts your energy around, not just Tarot, but your goals, your dreams, your big visions, and so on.

So I really want to bring that into your mind, as you’re thinking about connecting and finding your Tarot tribe:  You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.

How To Find Your Tribe

So you might be thinking:  Okay, how do I find my tribe?  This all sounds very good, thanks very much, but what do I do now?

So let me walk you through a couple of questions that will help you think about who you connect with and how.

So let’s do it!

So, how to find your tribe:

Number 1, the really important thing to do first is to think about:  Who do you want to become?

Now let’s explore this in the context of Tarot – you can explore it in a much broader context, absolutely, but this is a Tarot podcast so we’ll do it in Tarot context.

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So you might be thinking:  Who do you want to become as a Tarot reader?

How do I want to express myself through Tarot?

Is it that you want to integrate Tarot into your everyday life?

Is it that you want to become a professional Tarot reader?

Is it that you just really want to dabble with Tarot and that’s about it?

Anything’s fine – that is okay.

But think about:  What are some of the qualities you want to possess that go around that connection with Tarot?

When I look at Tarot, I certainly  think of the spiritual connection – so perhaps when I’m thinking about who I want to become in terms of Tarot, it’s also who do I want to become on a soul level – on a much deeper, spiritual level?

And maybe I want to be amongst people where I feel comfortable talking about higher-levels of consciousness and the Universe and so on – because you can’t have those conversations with everyone, that’s for sure!

So Number 2, think about:  What kinds of people do you want to attract into your life that are going to support who you want to become?

I might start to notice that – this is hypothetical – maybe I want to be a professional Tarot reader, and do some Soul Coaching – maybe I want to attract some other professional Tarot readers who are creating a similar kind of business.

Maybe I want to attract Life Coaches who have a Soul-based focus in their life, so I can learn a little bit more from them.

Then do a bit of a current audit – friend audit.  This is Step Number 3.  Think about:  Who are the five people that you spend the most time with right now?

And why have you chosen to spend the most time with those people?

What are the positive influences they’re having on you, particularly from the context of Tarot and spirituality?

And what are some of the negative influences?

Is there anyone in that group of five that looks down on Tarot, or that you don’t feel comfortable talking about Tarot with?

And is that a problem?

In some cases that might not be a problem for you, but just become consciously aware of it.

Now think about those five people, and this is Step Number 4:  Do they match who you want to become in the future?

Are they consistent with that future vision of yourself?

Are they helping to enable, or disable, your vision for yourself?

Do they elevate you or do they bring you down?

And then Number 5:  Look at the gaps:  What new people or qualities do you need to attract?

What new qualities do you want to attract, so that you can become that version of yourself that you aspire to become?

So you might realise:   I need more Tarot friends!

Of course!

But you might also be looking for more spiritually based friends as well.

And maybe you realise that there are a couple of friends that you no longer really connect with.  You might have been the best of friends a few years ago but you’ve changed paths. You’re on different paths, and that’s okay.

And then Number 6:  How can you attract the people that you want to attract from now?

And I think there are a few important things when thinking about attracting your tribe, or finding your tribe.

One is to be authentic. You already know who it is that you want to be, but be real.  Be who you are.

I’ve even heard the term not needing to play Spiritual Olympics.

And I see it – sometimes I go to some spiritual gatherings, and some people are just trying to be over the top with spirituality.  And I don’t think it’s them.  I don’t think it’s their authentic selves.

You don’t have to play the game of being a particular person – “Oh, I’m so Taroty” – just be you.

And that’s the way you’re going to attract the people who are right to you.

And be non-judgemental.

So, again, I think when you talk about spirituality, I think there’s a risk here that you go:  “Well, nah, you’ve got a lower vibration than me.  I am so much more higher vibrating.”

And that’s actually a big problem, because I think you’re judging people on their vibration level.

I think we need to be very open-minded as well, as we think about who we want to attract to our tribe.

And just because someone isn’t the right fit for you, doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person.  We don’t need to judge them for who they are.  It’s just that maybe they’re just not the people who are a right fit for you, right now, in this point in time.

And finally, be proactive.  If you start to find people who you do resonate with, connect with them; reach out to the; go and have a coffee together.  It’s a little bit scary, but just do it!

I’ve done that on a number of occasions and, intuitively, I thought, ‘Yes, I’ve got to connect with this person,’ and I have, and I’ve thought, ‘What on Earth am I going to talk about.  I’ll just meet them and see what happens.’

And a year or two down the track we’ve built a great friendship.

So, be proactive and be confident in that.

So just keep this in mind as you’re thinking about finding your Tarot tribe, by choosing who you spend time with, you are actually shaping your own future and where you’re heading.  You are allowing your goals to manifest, and you’re allowing your best self to manifest.

So you can start by examining the people you spend the most time with now; and really ask yourself:  Is this the right fit, or is there a gap?

And, when it comes to Tarot:  Am I around the right supportive people for Tarot?

Am I having engaging conversations around Tarot?

And if you’re not, could you benefit from it?

Well I think absolutely, yes, you could.

And then think about:  Where will I find my tribe?


Now of course, I know exactly where you can find your tribe, and that is within the Biddy Tarot Community.

And, the Biddy Tarot Community is something that I designed and created because I know that so many people are searching for their Tarot tribe.

And maybe they’re not finding it.

I know certainly as I have grown and developed as a Tarot reader, I’ve always been on the search for a group of people that I could really authentically identify with.  And I found it really hard because there are many different kinds of Tarot readers, and not all of them were in my style.  And I didn’t connect with everyone.

The kinds of people that I connect best with are people who are bringing Tarot into the real world; and they’re making every day connections with Tarot; people who are open and inclusive in the way that they read Tarot – rather than being shut down with, “This is exclusive knowledge.  Only this particular clan – the Purple Hat Clan – we can only know the knowledge of Tarot.  And if you haven’t studied all these systems, then you cannot enter the World of Tarot.”

I didn’t resonate with that whatsoever; instead I resonate with this inclusive space around Tarot.

That’s really why I created the Biddy Tarot Community, because I wanted to have this place where every day people could gather and connect around Tarot; and be around people just like them.

Tarot readers don’t have to necessarily be wearing crushed velvet all the time – or have a crystal ball – or be all Bohemian or mysterious, or what have you.

If that’s you, that’s fine, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be that way; but I’m saying that, as Tarot readers, we can come from all walks of life.  And sometimes we want to connect with people that come from what might be a regular walk of life.

And, again, that’s why I’ve created the Biddy Tarot Community, so that you can find other people who are as in love with Tarot as you; and who will elevate your consciousness around Tarot; and who are ready and willing to engage in really in-depth conversations around Tarot, but also interesting and meaningful conversations around Tarot.  Not just like all this esoteric knowledge about this particular tiny, little symbol in this card.

You can go into that depth if you like, but if that doesn’t interest you, you can talk about:  How do I use the Tarot cards for career and love, and all those kinds of things?

So, again, this is what the Community is all about – again, a very safe, nurturing space where you can share your wisdom around Tarot; you can tap into this collective wisdom around Tarot; you can be you, your authentic self – you don’t have to be any one.  You don’t have to be anything out there, alternative, anything like that – you can just be you.

And you can learn Tarot as well, at the same time.

You can practice with real-life people so you can get your Tarot skills and build those up, if you eventually want to become a Tarot reader – professional reader.

There are so many different avenues that you can take in the Biddy Tarot Community.

So if you’re interested it is open now, and you can go to

I would so love to see you in there, and we already have so many new members who are waiting for you and are ready to receive you with open arms, and really want to be part of your Tarot journey as well.

So, that’s it for today.  I really do want to encourage you to find your Tarot tribe, and that community that you can really connect with because you are the average of those five people you spend the most time with.

So why not make at least some of that your Tarot community?

Why not spend a little bit of time connecting with your Tarot tribe? [00:24:00]

Wonderful, so again you can check that out at

Sending you lots and lots of love, and I hope you just keep having fun with your Tarot cards.  That’s what they’re there for.

And I shall connect with you next time.

Thank you and good bye.


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