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BTP22: Create Harmonious Relationships with Tarot


Do you want to clear away any negative energy in your relationships to make space for more harmony and love?

The Tarot cards can help.

By asking the Tarot how you can release blockages and increase ‘flow’ in your relationships, you can create those beautiful, loving relationships that bring so much joy to your life.

In this podcast episode, I walk you through seven ways to use the Tarot to create blossoming, harmonious relationships.

You'll learn:

  • Why good, healthy relationships begin with YOU
  • How to identify what's blocking the relationship and how to clear these blockages
  • How to create a constructive conversation with your partner using the Tarot cards
  • Ways to form mutual agreements to benefit the relationship in the long-term
  • How to freely give and receive love

Let's dive in…

[Tweet “Why healthy relationships begin with YOU and how #Tarot can help @biddytarot”]

Additional Resources:

Podcast Transcript

Brigit: You’re listening to the Biddy Tarot Podcast, and this is Episode 22: Create Harmonious Relationship with Tarot.


Welcome to the Biddy Tarot podcast, where you will learn how to connect more deeply with your intuition and live an empowered and enlightened life with the Tarot cards as your guide.

Listen as Brigit and her guests share their very best tips and strategies to help you read Tarot with confidence.

And now, here is your host Brigit Esselmont.


Brigit: Hello and welcome back to the Biddy Tarot Podcast!

How beautiful is it when you are surrounded by people you love and who truly support you no matter what? When your relationships with your friends and family just seem to flow in the most harmonious way, isn’t it just gorgeous and amazing?

It’s one of those amazingly good feelings you just want to bottle up. I know that I do.

But there are other times when your relationships become troubled, challenged, stale, or even bitter and resentful, when it feels like hitting a brick wall and you are misunderstanding each other or you are harbouring a lot of negativity. That is the worst feeling ever.

The good news is that you can clear that negative energy in your relationships to make way for more harmonious and free-flowing relationships instead with a little help from our friends, of course, the Tarot cards!

By asking the Tarot cards how you can release blockages and increase “flow” in your relationships, you can create those beautiful, loving relationships that bring so much joy to your life.

Here are seven ways to use the Tarot to create blossoming, harmonious relationships.

Let’s get into it.

Be Your Best Self

Every good relationship starts with you.

If you go into a relationship feeling bad about yourself or feeling like a sense of emptiness that you hope someone else will fill, then you are bound to find yourself in challenging and difficult relationships.

On the flip side, if you wish to create harmonious relationships and you are in a place where you feel amazing and really in connection with your authentic self, then those harmonious relationships will start to come through to you.

One way of finding out how can you be your best self is simply ask the Tarot and ask, “How can I create harmony and love in my own life?”

I’m just going to draw a card just to see what happens.

Oh, interesting, Five of Pentacles.

“How can I create harmony and love in my own life?”

You know, maybe this is about helping other people who are in need. As I help others, then I am starting to help myself to feel gratitude for my abundance. It works in a kind of funny way. When we help people who are going through a rough time, sometimes, it can actually make us feel better about where we are in our own lives. That’s an interesting insight.

The other question you can ask is, “How can I be my best self in order to attract harmonious relationships?”

Let’s see what we get.

“How can I be my best self?”

Four of Pentacles reversed.

This is actually a good card to partner up with the Five of Pentacles because, again, this is about helping other people and letting go of perhaps having to have things just for myself but maybe sharing that wealth and abundance with others. In doing so, that will help me to attract more harmonious relationships into my life.

Why don’t you try it, too? Grab your Tarot cards and ask, “How can I create harmony and love in my own life?” and “How can I be my best self in order to attract harmonious relationships?”

The best place to start is with you.

Let’s step into the second way of using the Tarot for harmonious relationships.

Release and Let Go

If you’ve ever experienced hurt or pain in your relationship, it is so essential that you find a way to release and let go of that hurt and pain so that the relationship can grow in a more positive and constructive direction. Or so that you can welcome new relationships into your life.

The first step is to understand what is blocking the relationship.

You can use your Tarot cards to find this out or to help you dive deeper into what might be already known blockages.

Let’s say if I was in a relationship and I was trying to think intuitively. I want to connect intuitively. What do I think is not quite working here? Maybe I think intuitively there’s something around communication.

Let me ask my cards.

“How can I communicate more effectively? How can I release this sort of blockage around communication?”

I draw the Queen of Pentacles – lots of Pentacles coming up here.

Maybe there’s something about, as a female in this relationship, how am I contributing financially and also at the home and how is that affecting our communication perhaps? What are our conversations about, particularly when we talk about looking after the home and working at the same time?

That’s another interesting hypothetical card.

Alternatively, you might be like, “I know there’s something wrong here – something is blocking the relationship. I have no idea what it is.” In which case, turn to the Tarot, pick a card.

Oh, goodness me, I’ve got the Knight of Pentacles here. If the Tarot wants to send a message, it certainly is right now.

The Knight of Pentacles, because the Knight precedes the Queen, it’s actually a very similar message. In this case, it’s kind of confirming that my intuition is on the right track but, also, it’s giving me some more information and maybe some of the blockages are around our everyday life together or our everyday routines and maybe they’re starting to become a little bit more stifled or boring or just getting stuck in the day-to-day grind.

Once you know what those blockages are, the next step is to release and let go those blockages.

Ask your cards, “How can I best release and let go?”

Let’s see. I’m just going to do a summary one for those two cards.

“How could I release and let go of those blockages?”

Ah, Temperance!

Temperance for me is a lot about balance, integration, moderation, and patience. You know, perhaps, in a particular relationship, it might be ensuring that there’s balance in our everyday routines and also balance in how we contribute to the family and acknowledgement that contribution to a family may be in different ways.

Use that card to think about, “How can I move through those blockages and release and let go of them?”

You might also have something that’s a little bit more deep-seated and something you’re feeling quite wound up about. If that’s the case, then I highly recommend my Release and Let Go Tarot spread which I’ll add to the show notes.

This is a great spread for dealing with those times when you’ve got a situation where you just cannot move out of that place of feeling like, “Ugh! This is not working!” You’re quite emotional, maybe you’re losing a bit of sleep, you’re worrying about things. Then, this release and let go spread can be incredibly helpful. Check back to the show notes which you’ll find over at

Respect Each Other’s Needs

If there is a little bit of tension in a relationship, oftentimes, it’s because we’re not really hearing each other out or we’re not acknowledging what each person needs in the relationship. We’re more absorbed in what we need and want, and forgetting that there’s actually two people in a relationship – or more, sometimes.

We each have different needs and expectations – whether it’s a romance, a friendship, or even a professional relationship with a colleague. What’s important is that you take time to understand what each person truly needs so that you can then respect and honour that need. That includes your own needs as well.

When you’re not consciously aware of what you need and expect from your partner, it can lead to disappointment and tension, especially if your needs aren’t being met as well.

Let’s ask the Tarot, “What needs do I want to be met in the relationship?” The second one is, “How can I meet the needs of my friend/partner/whoever it is that you’re asking about?”

Let’s see.

“What needs do I need to have met?”

Seven of Wands. Maybe I just want acknowledgement that I’m doing my best to serve the family or something like that – that I’m dealing with struggles and challenges just like my partner is. That might be something that is a need that I need to have met.

In light of that, I would then be thinking, “Well, how can I constructively communicate that need to my partner so that my partner could respect and honour that need?” They don’t necessarily have to buy into it or agree to it. You can’t change what someone else does or thinks. But you can start to communicate. “You know, I’m having a hard time here, too. I need your support as well.” Maybe that just helps to bridge the gap a little bit.

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The second card then would be, “How can I meet the needs of my partner?”

I’ve got the Justice card. Again, I’m drawn to the scales in this card, particularly as we had the Temperance card before, and this is about equality and balance and things needing to be fair. Perhaps my partner wants to be seeing things happening in a fair way.

Maybe a good plan would be to sit down together and draft up these daily responsibilities, who’s doing what, and is this a fair distribution of daily responsibilities?

You can see we’re already starting to open some really constructive pathways to help create a more harmonious relationship.

All through the Tarot cards, what I really like about this is that it’s not about a direct conversation going, “Well, you do this, you don’t do that. I don’t like this. I don’t like that.” You’re actually having a conversation through sort of a third thing which is these cards with pictures on it and you can be talking about the pictures instead of directing it to your partner. It actually helps to diffuse some of that energy between the two people and it directs that energy into the cards. You can talk a bit more about what you’re seeing in the cards and then how that’s impacting you.

I think it’s actually a really nice way of having a meaningful conversation without it getting too direct and challenging or even threatening with one another. A little bit like having a counsellor present but, instead, you’ve got your Tarot cards.

Now that you know what needs you want to have met and how you can meet the needs of your partner, you may also want to understand what agreements you need to make together to create a more harmonious relationship.

You can ask the Tarot, “What agreements do we need to make – either personally or as a partnership – for this relationship to work?”

Let’s see.

“What agreements do we need to make together?”

Oh, Three of Swords. Well, something I see in this card is about not taking things to heart. Particularly in a long-term relationship, you do become very comfortable with one another and you may become less conscious of how you say things and what you say. But, sometimes, we forget that, when we’re in our sort of full comfortable selves, we might be saying things that hurt the other person.

The agreement here might be (1) be careful with your words and be kind and compassionate with the way we communicate together but (2) also to give the benefit of the doubt.

Let’s say, if this is a long-term relationship, you’re in that relationship for a while for a reason and it’s because you love each other or you respect each other. Just because you make one little mistake with saying something that could be hurtful, it doesn’t mean that the whole relationship is doomed. It’s sort of giving each other a bit more of a benefit of the doubt. That might be the agreement that you reach together.

Again, you can both be looking at this card and saying, “Well, what do you see in this card? What do I see?” They don’t have to be a Tarot reader to benefit. Just look at the image, the picture in the card, and say, “What does this represent to you? What thoughts does it trigger within you about the agreements that we need to make as a partnership?”

Work on the Relationship Together

For a relationship to truly be in flow, both parties need to be prepared to work on the relationship together. One person simply cannot be doing all the work while the other slacks off.

Ask the Tarot, “What is the most important thing that we need to work on to create a harmonious relationship?”

Let’s consult the cards.

“What do we need to work on?”

Three of Pentacles. Well, we just simply need to work together! We’re a team here!

I’ve experienced it. I know my friends who are married with children have also experienced it. There are some days that are just not good days. Maybe the kids have just been screaming for the last hour, having a tantrum, whatever it might be. Now, you can choose to go, “The whole world is against me and I’m against them,” and just go crazy at everybody that comes into your path. Or you can team up with your partner and go, “Holy moly! This is a bad day, isn’t it?” and just have a laugh together.

You can either take out that frustration on your partner or you could say, “We’re part of a team here. Let’s just get on with it.”

That’s what I see in the Three of Pentacles.

Ask the Tarot, for your relationship, “What do you need to work on to create a harmonious relationship?”

You might also want to look at what you can do individually to create positive change for the relationship.

Communicate Openly

I want to share with you a quote from Anthony Robbins.

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”

I couldn’t agree more!

Communication is the key to a harmonious relationship. Communication between people needs to be honest, authentic, open and compassionate. Without it, relationships break down and people drift apart.

Ask the Tarot, “How can we create open communication with one another?”

The Strength card. I’m looking at the lion and the fair maiden and this can often link to those raw, instinctual moments and trying to calm some of that rawness, and it comes back to that Three of Swords.

Sometimes, when we’re completely comfortable with our partner, we can let loose a little bit and maybe let loose a little bit too much and end up saying things that we regret and not really softening the way that we connect with each other.

The Strength card here might be saying it’s important to speak your truth but do so in a way that is kind and compassionate and that respects and honours the other person rather than completely lashing out and just being super raw because that might end up with hurt feelings.

You might also want to ask, “What needs to be discussed right now?” or “What’s the elephant in the room?” Is there a particular topic that needs your attention right now?

Let’s do this hypothetically.

Five of Wands reversed. The Five of Wands is often about conflict and disagreement. Now, with the reversal of it, I see that as a private conflict. In fact, this might be a sign to say there might be some points of difference between you and your partner but it’s not the appropriate time right now to bring that out. I think it’s better at this point to be focusing on strengthening the relationship and focusing on moving forward and creating constructive connection and not worrying about small conflicts and so on.

That’s another interesting message. I keep saying that! It’s all very interesting, isn’t it? Because it’s the Tarot, and Tarot is always so interesting!

Focus on the Blessings

All relationships have bumps along the way. You can get caught up on what someone did or said years ago, or you can simply focus on the blessings that you both share right now, here in the present moment.

Simply ask the Tarot, “What blessings are available to us in this relationship?” It’s kind of like what’s working.

Page of Wands reversed. Let’s see.

The Page of Wands upright is often about exploration and adventure. In the reversal, it’s almost like a personal exploration and adventure. Maybe this is about – yeah, actually, this feels good – this might be about honouring and respecting each other’s personal journey and giving each other the space to go off and do fun things, but not necessarily as a couple.

If I think to say my relationship in my marriage, you know, both my partner and I, we go on all sorts of little adventures on our own. I’ve travelled overseas just on my own while he stayed home with the kids, and vice versa. He’s gone off on trips as well.

Whilst it is hard work being the person at home – you know, the single parent for a little while – we both really respect and honour that importance of being able to go out on your own and being able to experience things on your own. That’s what gives us our own sense of self and individuality. So, yes, that’s definitely a blessing within our relationship.

Give and Receive Love

Love is at the heart of all harmonious relationships – no matter the nature of the relationship itself. The Tarot can help you understand how you can give and receive love in a way that is compassionate and heart-centred.

Simply ask the cards, “How can I give love?” and “How can I receive love?”

Let’s see.

“How can I give love?”

Ace of Wands reversed. I can give love by being internally inspired by things. If I keep myself in an inspired place where I’m discovering new things, then I can give love. It’s kind of like I’ve got to focus on my own energy in order to be able to then transfer that energy to others.

That’s interesting.

“How can I receive love?”

Well, I drew the Eight of Pentacles reversed. Maybe this is about not focusing too much on the details and thinking more about the bigger picture. Maybe not criticizing my partner for like, “Oh, you gave me red flowers when I really wanted pink flowers!” Of course, I don’t do that – trust me!

There might be some other things where your partner is expressing love to you. Are you becoming overly critical or are you just being accepting that, “You know what, this is an expression of love. Even if the details aren’t 100 percent right, that’s okay. It’s the expression of love that is important.”

If you’re looking to create more harmonious relationships in your life – with friends, family, partners and colleagues – you know now that you can turn to the Tarot to give you deeper insight on how to do so.

Look at how you can bring your best self to the relationship, release blockages, respect each other’s needs, work together, communicate, focus on the blessings, and pour love into the relationship.

You can use all of these techniques that I’ve shared with you today, either for your own personal use in your relationships and even do these readings with your partner, as I spoke about before, because I think you will get some really interesting conversations going together with, again, just the imagery that’s in the cards. That’s what helps you start those conversations in a sort of non-threatening way.

You can also use these techniques in your client readings and the readings that you’re doing for other people. Start to draw out some of these questions in your relationship offers that you have for your Tarot readings.

If you’ve loved these particular tips on how to use Tarot in your life, be sure to sign up for my Five Simple Steps to Read Tarot with Confidence. It’s a free email tutorial series that’s delivered direct to your inbox. It truly does make Tarot fun, intuitive, and easy-to-use.

Just head on over to

You can sign up there. All you need to do is just pop in your name and your email and the rest will be done automatically and you can start to connect with the Tarot in no time.

That’s it for today!

I thank you so much for being here and I am thrilled that you are integrating Tarot into your life and also being part of the Biddy Tarot community as well.

I look forward to connecting with you next time when we talk about “Are You Ready to Go Pro?” It should be a really good episode.

Thank you and goodbye!



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